If you are anything like me, you get
bothered by dumb things and tell people about it all the time.
Here is something new that I feel the need to share with everyone.
have been into chinese food for a long time. It was always
a big deal to go out to the local restaurant and get a big
pile of food and share it with the whole family. One of the
best parts of getting chinese food is of course, the cookies,
and reading your fortune out to everyone. As far as the fortunes
go, I have always been superstitious about them. A recent
addition to my fortune cookie superstition is that each person
should choose their own cookie. This allows each person the
chance to secure the proper fortune. Never hand someone their
cookie. It would mean that you were picking the fortune for
them. I can't remember where I picked this habit up, but regardless,
it's a fun one. I also am into hanging onto fortunes, especially
if I have them from take out. I am more apt to leave them
if I open them in the restaurant. At home I hang on to them
until they get thrown out in a big clean up (often by accident).
have been noticing some odd things about fortune cookies.
Like the lucky numbers that I can only imagine are for those
who play the lottery. One time Skippy and Nick and I were
eating chinese food at a dining hall on campus. We each took
turns reading our fortune, Nick read out "10, 12, 15,
27, 30, 32...in bed... I don't get it." I think rice
almost came out of Skippy's nose he was laughing so hard.
You will note that now the numbers are labeled and are often
on the same side as the fortune to prevent them from being
confused with real prophetic insight. On the back it is now
common to learn short phrases or single words of chinese.
I really don't see relevance of this type of information.
I think it would be better if they told you what the heck
the sauce for General Tso's chicken is made of . Perhaps the
back would best be used as one I have shown below where it
displays an advertisement for a website "Please visit
us at www.wontonfood.com
" that seems like a better use of space.
what is up with the fortunes being in red now? I think they
used to all be black. I have one that is black on one side,
and red on the other. Odd stuff. I am a big fan of the ones
with smiley faces on them, but aren't necessarily positive
fortunes. I know I am being picky, but really they should
have multiple face options for things like this. Get with
what am I getting at? My favorite thing about fortunes is
the rapid decline in actual fortunes. After all the
addendums to the fortunes it seems that they have reduced
the fortune budget. I can't explain it any better than I can
explain "This is a really lovely day. Congratulations!"
What is that supposed to mean? I have hung on to this fortune
for about 10 years. I still have no clue. Is it a compliment
for my contribution to today's loveliness? Perhaps it is more
a prompt for me to identify the beauty in each day, in which
case, why am I to be commended. Oh man I have thought
way too long about this one. I think it is getting worse because
my computer shut down while I typed this page up the first
anyone remember the show amazing stories? I think that was
the one, either that or the 80's twilight zones. There was
one episode that had a guy that kept going back to a chinese
restaurant. They had fortunes that kept coming true. I don't
remember what the fortunes were saying, but it was things
that were beneficial to him, like maybe he read the lottery
number side and they were winning numbers or something. Or
maybe it said you should wear pleated pants and he ended up
getting discovered for a movie. I really don't remember, and
my guesses are getting very strange. In the end he just kept
eating and eating and he screams out 'Why am I still hungry!'
or something like that. When he opens his next fortune, it
says 'YOU'RE DEAD"
I would like to compile a set of baffling fortunes, or unfortunes,
if you will. So please send me your confusing fortunes. I
will put them up on my site.
If you want them back I will scan them and send them back
to you. Either way, I really want to see the real fortune
so I can avoid dealing with people that are creative like
me that can do some photoshoping and make a keen digital forgery.
So lay it on me and you will be famous! (sorta) Once I get
a bunch, we can vote to see who has the best, and maybe prizes
will be involved.
Here's my contact info, if you don't want to link to my keen
(all fortunes are real except 5 and 6)
Pratt: you have too much time for creating
this and I have too much time because I'm reading it.